Most days I try not to eat a full breakfast with my bulletproof coffee. But yesterday we were just lounging around the house and there was bacon.
Breakfast 1 (7:30am): bulletproof coffee
Breakfast 2 (9am): slice of bacon, two runny eggs over a nest of rutabaga hash browns.
Lunch (11:30am): leftovers shared with a friend: roast beef, green beans and sweet potatoes. We had a lovely playdate with some dear friends. It’s a new reconnection. One of my best friends from years ago, and then we kinda fell apart, and now we are falling back together. Friendship is sweet.
Snack (1:30pm): the last piece of strawberry pie. I savored every last bite. So long Whole 30 “cheat” (a cheat only because it’s in the shape of a pie, not because of the ingredients)
Dinner (4:30pm): Another long mommy day, Alex had a networking event in the evening, so we drove down to meet him for a super early dinner at Chipotle. I had the salad (no dressing) piled high with chicken, fajita veggies, salsa and guac. Anyone know if Chipotle salsa is Whole 30 approved? I didn’t check. I ate it anyway.
Snack (7:30pm): since dinner was so early, I chowed down on cherries, cashews and a Larabar in the evening.
This little girl asks for her daddy constantly through the day. It is a reminder of how little time we get to spend with him lately and how precious it is when he’s around. I find myself frustrated during those couple hours each day. Sometimes it feels like more work when he is around. My kiddos go crazy, my system is turned upside down. And sometimes I need to just lay on the couch and take a deep breath and realize that we want it turned upside down. I want daddy to walk through the door each day. And I want my girls to react. I want the chaos that includes rushing to get a meal ready by 4pm and making sure naps don’t overlap with daddy time. These are things I want and I must stop looking at them as inconveniences. Because I really want him home. And I want him to feel wanted at home.
And when he can’t be home, we will go to him. Even when it isn’t easy to get out of the house in the afternoon with two crabby girls. When naps are interrupted and snacks must be on the go and make a mess in my car. Despite the struggle, it is worth it to stroll with him for a short walk, to pop in to the bookstore and watch him read to the girls. This is a crazy season we are in. I’m not sure I ever expected it to be like this. And some days I don’t do a great job embracing our reality. Other days I am soaking it all in. Most days I love being the one taking care of my tribe. But some days I whine too much, complain a little, and maybe make the ones I love feel like they are not welcomed around me. Lord forgive me for pitfalls. Alex forgive me for my shortcomings. Girls, forgive me and please forget when I am not the perfect mommy. I’m trying hard. But now I will try my best.
PS: So close to the end! Three days to go. I’m ready for tall glass of wine and a dark chocolate bar!