Being a mommy

No What I Ate Wednesday today. I took a break yesterday from capturing all my meals. However I did capture this one…

Chocolate cake and ice cream for lunch. Not your typical cake and ice cream, it was a much healthier version and totally hit the spot. While I didn’t go entirely off track yesterday, I did enjoy a little more freedom than usual with my meals.  And I enjoyed every bite of dark chocolate last night too!

I also enjoyed my veggies. And the beautiful weather.

This little one has been testing my patience lately. I try so hard to be a good mommy, but I fail often. I yell too much when I feel like I’m losing control. And when you have a two-year old you lose control often.

Just two days ago I commented that I felt like we were on a good streak. I was learning how to change the way I talked to Eleanor and I really felt like it was making a difference. I was firm without pleading or punishing and I was getting results. And then yesterday we just couldn’t find our balance. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, maybe it was cabin fever, or maybe my patience was just short. But Eleanor and I went rounds yesterday.  And this morning started very much the same. She woke up too early and I was just not ready. It’s infuriating to wake up to demands and screaming. I still have so much to learn, but lowering my expectations is at the top of my list. You just don’t reason with a two-year old. She doesn’t understand mommy needs her coffee before starting with the “Mommy, mommy, mommy!”

Truly I feel like a desperate housewife lately. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom so badly, and right now I just feel like I’m screwing it all up.  I’m not taking advantage of our freedom and enjoying being home with my girls.  I feel like I’m just making it through each day. Surviving.

Anyway, just venting. Trying to turn around my attitude today. Trying to soak in these precious days with my littles and not get so worked up over the small stuff. That’s where I am today.

Happy hump day friends!

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