A case of the Tuesdays?


I have a case of the Tuesdays. That’s a thing right? My attitude has been off all day and while I’d like to blame it on my children I know it’s me. The morning started off with a bit of pouting from my three-year old and it drove me crazy and instead of moving on and getting over it I decided to dwell in my self-pity…being a mom is hard, demeaning, ungrateful work. Nobody helps me with this and that, I’m all alone, I’m a servant, a slave. That kind of dialogue plagued my mind and ruined my morning.

A few things helped to turn it around…I ignored my children for about an hour and read a book. The girls terrorized the house while I happily sat on the couch doing nothing but read. Second, food. I ate my breakfast (finally) while my children watched, surely wanting a bite but too afraid to ask because mommy might really lose it then. Bless them. I was hangry. And last, while they ate their lunch I turned on a book to listen to and cooked dinner, once again basically ignoring them.

The irony is not lost on me that yesterday I was declaring how much I hate cooking and today it was my stress reliever. In the course of 45 minutes I whipped up a potato salad, Dump Mayo because I realized I used it all in the potato salad recipe but wanted some for the BLT I’m about to make for myself; then decided that while the food processor was dirty I might as well mix the Caesar dressing for tomorrow’s dinner. And last I boiled eggs to go with the potato salad for tonight’s meal. After I got the girls down from lunch I made them clean up the living room and get ready for their nap while I cleaned the kitchen. Now the kitchen sparkles, dinner is already to go and the girls are in their beds and it is only 12:30!

Can I also mention probably the number one thing that made my day…Eleanor made her bed. When I requested the girls pick up their toys from the living room in preparation for naps Eleanor went in her room and folded all the blankets, straightened the pillows and essentially made her bed. When I realized what she did I nearly cried. Making the beds is my number one way to feel better about the way my house looks and Eleanor went in and did it all on her own. I’ve never even asked her to do this before. She knew mommy needed it!


On Tuesdays I have been in the habit of writing about our weekend activities since I post our meal plan on Mondays. But today I’m a bit off track and just writing about the past 5 hours since we woke up. Admittedly it has been a hard day already but I’m now ready to turn that around and hopefully pay a little more attention to my sweet girls this afternoon…after they nap of course!

 

Parenting Three Year Olds

Everyone said three was harder than two.  I believed them fully. But I didn’t know just how hard it would get.

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I feel like someone has stolen my happy little girl and replaced her with this emotional roller coaster. I can’t stay on top of the mood swings and the fits have me wanting to walk right out the door. I tip toe around everything, spell things out and avoid so many things simply because I’m afraid of the meltdown that will ensue. Somedays feel like one big fight from beginning to end. And I wonder if Eleanor’s life is any fun at all. How can being three be so incredibly hard?

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I try to do fun things with her and it winds up hard and bad. I plan fun days and they end up all trouble. I reserve special treats for her and it always ends up in a fit. The more I try the worse it seems. I am consistent and fair and loving and everything is wrong. I am angry and threatening and I count to three and it is still all wrong. And I take a look around us and I can’t remember if Eleanor has smiled all day long. She whines when she wakes up in the morning, she fights anything we give her for breakfast, bed time is a nightmare and eating dinner never happens. I keep her on a schedule to help her adjust her expectations and it blows up. I try to be spontaneous and fun and that never works. I am failing miserably. All. The. Time.

Playing with friends is hard. But not having playdates is apparently a crime. Communication sucks. Negotiation is impossible. Compromise is non-existent. And crying is happening all the time.

Honestly, I think we are just in a down swing right now. We have been traveling so much lately. The girls just had a terrible cold with fevers and coughs. It was a holiday weekend with visitors and too many sweets and not enough sleep. It has been a perfect storm of environmental factors and three-year old tantrums. I miss my little girl. I feel like we haven’t really seen each other in weeks.  And I wonder when we will just be ok again. When will we start having fun again?

Parenting is so damn hard. Every day I count the mistakes I make. And even when I am not blatantly making a mistake I’m wondering if my choices and actions are right or wrong. There isn’t enough black and white in parenting. There are too many gray areas. It all feels so hard right now. And I’m just wondering when it is going to get easier.